All or nothing.

All or nothing. Yep that’s Me! Is this you? Do you find yourself in this mentality? When you start something, you are all in? Or maybe the opposite. Start something. Get overwhelmed. Discouraged. Get off track. Give up? You are either one or the other or both. Maybe in some areas in your life you are All in. Other areas nothing. That’s totally me. I give so much in one area of my life that I lose focus on the little things. Do you? What if we changed our whole outlook on life and decided. Finally. To just be All In. Understanding that All in does not mean perfection. That beautiful highlight real you see. It’s not obtainable. Life is crazy. hectic. and just plain hard. So here it is.

Having my summers off has been dreamy for me. Having my mornings to workout. More quality time with my hubs. Getting much needed to dos done. Spending time with my kiddos. Running errands. Taking time to study. Sitting still. (You know that is hard for me.) Decompressing. Reevaluating. Here’s the thing. Since I am not working I have a tendency to waste away time. That’s not always a bad thing but for me I beat myself up about it. Remember. I am ALL OR NOTHING. I love this and dislike this about myself. So let me explain.

Here is my ALL IN this summer. My workouts. Goodness I stinkin love them. I go almost every morning to Temple. Walk everyday or bike. Then of course Jazzercise in the evenings. Guess what? Going extreme every day has caused my NOTHING to occur with my food. Working out so much has provoked my eating to be out of control. I’m use to structure with my food. Weighing, measuring and tracking every bite. Working out and burning 2500-3000 calories a day. Yikes. That’s a lot. Only means one thing. This girl got hungry and snacked. Eating like a jerk. Not measuring and tracking truthfully. Yes, this girl who seems to have it all together and the best shape of her life has backslides. I decided to looked at my last summer weigh-ins and this summer’s weigh-ins and found out…guess what? I gained. Why? Because I am ALL IN with my workouts and ALL OUT with my food. Brilliant realization right?

Got to stop. I’m hurting myself. Working out too much. Over thinking too much. Over eating too much. Busying myself too much. So know what? Finding Balance. Remember I wrote about this. March 2nd to be exact. I know what to do. I just have to do it. Stop allowing the excuses of my All in or nothing mentality to own me. I owe it to myself to find my focus again. My motivation. My self control. Taking care of me so I can be there for the ones I love so freakin much. I not only owe this whole living healthier. happier. stronger. for myself but to those who have followed along with me on my journey. My story. Word by word. Sentence by sentence. Chapter by chapter.

All in or Nothing. Not anymore my friend. Together as we struggle with our weight, self confidence, body image, relationships, etc. Together we survive. Together we know that in our own time we find ourselves that’s been hidden for so long. We break the chains of all our excuses and struggles. Making the beautiful decision to be Fully in. Fully living. Fully by His GRACE.