Why now?

Why now? What changed? When was the breaking point? Do you ask yourself this ever? Do you get asked this? I do. I love this question. It reminds me of the last time I knew I had to stop. With excuses. Lack of will power. Loss of self control. Giving into my deepest emotions. With Food. With self. With the past. With now. I remember it so clearly. Letting go of self and allowing God to do His work in me and through me. I could not have done this alone. Self. Nope. His will. His Grace. His strength. I had to do something before I allowed every emotion to take over and I lost all self worth. I had enough. Tired of doubting myself. Sick in tired of being sick and tired. I knew that I had to take back my health. Take back me. Period. I was destroying myself on the inside and out. Mentally. Physcially. Spiritually. Emotionally.

This is what I did. Total surrender. I had to find balance. I knew I had to. For me. My family. My life. So that’s exactly what I did. I needed Him and my amazing support system to make this work for me. That beautiful September day walking into the doors of WW. Leaning on the love of my amazing hubby, kiddos, family, fabulous friends, Jazzercise crew, Temple Work tribe and the awesome insta community. Keeping me accountable. Motivated. Encouraged. Strong. Posting. Sharing. Getting fresh ideas. Knowing someone has been there and experienced that. To have someone to talk to. Push you. Say just the right thing. This story of mine is not complete without HIM and YOU. I can’t do this ALONE. My fav part.

I’m finally realizing that I had the strength all along. It was buried inside me. I had to be free. It was easy to give into the negative thoughts. Continuously telling myself I was incapable of letting go. Holding onto all my insecurities. Holding me back. The thoughts inside my head. You are not good enough. Strong enough. All lies. I was. ENOUGH. STRONG. Finally letting go. Not giving up. Letting Go and Letting God. You my friend are ENOUGH. You are STRONG enough.

Why now? Because it’s time. Time to be who I am. Time to be who YOU are. Don’t wait. It’s your time. This moment is for us. To experience life to the fullest. No matter where you are. Enjoy it. Love it. No time for regret. The best is yet to come. Hold on tight and embrace what is in store. It’s not perfect. No one’s story is. Far from it. Living fully means a life with rough edges. Imperfectly Perfect. Hard. You will struggle. Give up. Give in. Lose control. Have bad days. Have really awful. No good. Very bad days. It’s flippin hard. Each moment is our little, amazing, awesome story being written out one word at a time. How incredible is it knowing that each of us were called. To be us. For Him. Not anyone eles. Us. Me. You. Why now? Why not?