Looking forward.

Looking forward. Looking back I find joy and disappointment. Three years this month I began my journey to get healthier, stronger, and happier. Without a doubt this has been one of the hardiest battles I have been up against. Realizing how far I have come but seeing the struggles that I have faced as well. I was at my heaviest, tired, and frustrated. Then at my thinnest, not enough, and still searching. Now. Maintaining, learning, and believing. Realizing that He is not finished with me yet!

Memories pop up on Facebook and Instagram. Pictures of my heaviest weight and my thinnest. I have to be real with you. It stings. The thought of knowing how hard the fight has been being big and small. No one ever said I had gotten “big”. But when I was “thin”, they told me I was too thin. Now at maintenance, I’m told they see my weight fluctuating. Could I be “just right”? Why does our mind struggle so much? Why do we not see the true beauty inside and out? Why do we look to others for approval? How hard would it be just to be satisfied and happy with wherever we are in our journey? Because we are human. We have social media. We see others and want what they have. We look for our self love through what others say or feel about us. We search in the wrong places. What if we decided today to find our self worth in the one who created us? Stop hiding from Him and find that pure JOY again. You and I. We have been given the most beautiful opportunity to share. Our strengths. Our failures. The good times. The crazy times. At our heaviest. Thinnest. Just rightness. Our journey. Our story. To help and inspire others. To know we are not alone. That you my friend are YOU. Wonderfully made YOU.

As I sit on my swing at our happy place I realize just that. To be happy. To be content. I can’t beat myself up for not being perfect at this. I’m not going to be. I’m learning still. Growing still. Becoming me. Still. It’s not easy. No one’s story is. We all have our own journey. It’s unique. Beautiful. Imperfectly perfect. Stop allowing what others think, feel, and say depict who you are. Stop saying you have failed. Stop feeling that you are not enough. Stop looking for approval from others. Stop looking back and saying “what if”? STOP “weighing” your self worth.

Looking forward. No more looking back. Start living for today. Celebrate. Don’t complain. Becoming YOU and ME takes time, patience, CONSISTENCY, grace, and hard work. It’s not instant. It might take us a lifetime to figure it out. But knowing that we truly lived out our purpose. For Him. Not others. That’s pretty freakin phenomenal! And I’m HAPPY with that.

I choose happiness. I choose joy. I choose living. One. Day. At. A. Time. To. The. Fullest.

Do you?