Raising my baby girl.
Raising a daughter is one of the hardest things I will ever do in my life. I never thought about the impact I would have on her. Calista looks up to me, wants my approval, and learns from my actions. She has followed in my footsteps. Good, bad and ugly. She is just like me.
Over the past few years I have watched her struggle with the same battles I faced as a young lady. Battling her weight, overcoming an eating disorder, and dealing with words that cut deep from others. I have tried to always be positive and uplifting but sometimes failing tremendously. I would catch myself saying things about the way I looked and felt, never realizing the impact and impression it would have on Calista. I watch her act, do and say things exactly the way I have done for years. It cuts deep. Knowing this hurts. I know I should have done better. Why do I feel like I failed her? I haven’t . Thank you Jesus for your grace.
Taking my life back 3 years ago not only changed my life it has altered my baby girl’s! She sees the changes therefore she has changed too. Little by little. It’s such a beautiful thing. Nope not perfect for either of us. But, a new beginning for us both. Learning, growing, and blooming into who we are supposed to be. I get to watch it all unfold. Gosh I stinking love it. My dreams becoming her dreams. My goals becoming her goals. Not exactly. Living out our purpose together but differently. Perfectly imperfect. Jaime as Jaime. Calista as Calista. I’m becoming who He has called me to be. Calista is becoming who He has called her to be. Fearfully and Wonderfully made. All for Him. Our purpose. Living it out. One day at a time.
Today I can truly say I am proud of the mom I have become. It’s not a glamorous, dreamy, fun filled #momlife. It’s flipping hard, full of lessons learned from mistakes made. Joy in the moments of good days. Pain when things just don’t go as planned. Laughs when you just can’t get enough of their silliness. Tears after you see their pain. Happiness when you finally find time to chat. Frustration when you just don’t understand their choices. Grace when you know that He has it all in His hands. That’s just it. This thing called life. Parenting. Guiding. Teaching. Maturing. Just Living. Fully. Perfectly. Imperfect.
I’m so thankful that I finally found what it means to be me. So I can be a better mom and role model. I get to experience life at it’s fullest without regret of the “what if’s”. Of course times will be hard. I know I will feel at times that I have yet failed again. But, I can trust that through the ups and downs, insanity, ugly cries and pure feeling of defeat, I have done good. Not perfect but enough. A mom.
I can’t explain how proud I am of my baby girl. Raising her has been pure JOY! I love being her mom. Hero. Best friend. I know that she will do BIG things! Can’t wait to watch it all unfold. Trusting. Believing. Praying.
Perhaps Fearlessness is not something anyone can merely wander into, but the gritty gold dust rising up from the ashes of every single thing they have been through. -Morgan Harper Nichols
For you formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully & wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139: 13-14
Thankful for Trussville Gets Fit Jazzercise, Inc. This program has changed our lives. Love that a simple dance workout has brought us closer, made us strong and helped us reach our goals and dreams one song at a time. Finding a workout that truly motivates you, keeps you moving and just makes you happy is what it’s all about. 3 years and counting.
